Transforming Relationships: A Case Story

You’re at your wits end trying to make your office or home a happy, peaceful place. And it would be, if only that annoying co-worker or relative would shape up. You’ve tried everything—and now you’re ready to quit your job or leave home for the sake of your sanity and high blood pressure. But wait! Don’t give up yet.

There is another and very surprising way to change the situation: surrogate tapping. You’re wondering, “What in the world is surrogate tapping?” But first, let me share a story.

A few weeks ago I worked over the telephone with a client who had endured a loud, intrusive, inappropriate co-worker for five years. My client was at the end of her rope. She was angry and resentful and couldn’t ignore her co-worker any longer.

We first tapped together on her anger and resentment and her inability to get past “Sue’s” hurtful behavior. Surprisingly enough, there was not the big emotional shift we have come to expect with tapping. So then we did “surrogate tapping” for Sue’s known past traumas and for her present distresses—though of course we had no way of assessing the effectiveness of these tapping rounds on Sue herself.

Finally, we tapped saying “Sue’s hurtful behavior is absolutely not acceptable even though I understand her background and have compassion for her.” And that particular round of tapping brought an absolute breakthrough for my client who finally was able to let go of her anger and resentment. She realized that Sue’s behavior was her coping mechanism, her way of protecting herself in life.

Now here’s the extraordinary part: The next day (and ever since) Sue totally changed her behavior toward my client. And as my client left for her vacation, Sue wished her a happy time away and even asked if she could give her a hug. Talk about a breakthrough!

And that same breakthrough can be yours through the power of tapping–which brings us back to your question, “What is surrogate tapping?”

Tapping is not new – it’s even being used to help veterans and others with traumatic stress. But the wonderful news is that it has recently been discovered to work quite effectively on other people by tapping on yourself–as if you were the other person. Hence “surrogate tapping” or “proxy tapping”. And as you noticed in the story, surrogate tapping not only changes you, it can also wonderfully change the person you are doing the surrogate tapping for.

The next time you feel hopeless about a person or situation in your life, why not try surrogate tapping to turn the situation around quickly and successfully.


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