Did you know that 25-30% of American women have been neglected or abused in childhood—emotionally, physically or sexually?
We are so vulnerable in childhood. Even seemingly minor abuse gets stored in the mind-body-energy system. And these early messages can set the stage for our lifelong feelings of not being good enough. And often we make subconscious choices that eventually repeat the abuse.
Emotional Freedom Techniques can help. Because the brain stores memories very specifically, rather than focusing on general feelings like “overwhelmed,” “anxious” or “depressed”, these specific memories (often just out of conscious reach) become the focus of an EFT session. So my favorite question then is “What/Who does this situation remind you of?” And, magically, the person recalls what her parent/teacher/schoolmate said or did that made her feel so dreadful about herself.
Let me illustrate with Danette, a bright, middle-aged, creative, beautiful—and despairing—woman. Her first words to me were “My life is a cruel joke.” She reported obsessive thinking that consumed her days and nightmares that made her afraid to sleep.
Danette then told of constant and sadistic childhood abuse. So we tapped on her mother’s and siblings’ specific abuse words: “fat pig,” “stupid,” “ugly,” “brat,” “liar,” “the garbage man’s daughter,” “bad seed.” When the power of those specific words diminished, she then realized that her family never really saw her—because they were looking through their own clouded, distorted filters. Their own stuff.
So we tapped on “It was not about me at all. I was just in the way. I was handy.” We ended the session by bringing in energy for peace and healing. At our next meeting, Danette told me that the nightmares had virtually stopped—and we hadn’t even focused on them!
Danette admits that she is still a work in progress, but now she can begin to deeply accept herself and to be hopeful about possibilities—and that more miracles are on their way.
In her own words:
“Yes! It works—and it works because a skilled practitioner, D’Anne, is leading me and listening to me and validating me. She is teaching me to tap away this pain, this life of trauma that has defined me. I’m going for a new identity! This is Rocket Science! It is unbelievable how fast you can overcome—and put things in their place. No, it does not come without pain, but it’s worth every tear. You begin to recognize the truth and put the lies away where they belong. By tapping you clear the field—and the possibilities are endless. When you get right down to it, EFT is logical. It gets to the very root of what holds you back. Tapping is not magic, but it feels magical when what has plagued you all your life begins to fall away.”
–Danette O’Quin, McMinnville, OR